Life Story · Personalities & Quirks

If Only I Have More Time… Or Not?

Tick tock tick tock; can you hear that clock ticking in the background? [🖼❗]
Whew, this week I’ve been busier than usual and waaaay more than I’d like. Rather than boring you with details, basically I was spending the week (and a bit more) as a near-full-time extrovert! Yet I’m actually an (outgoing) introvert, so you can see where it’s going. 😅

It’s not like I didn’t know I’d be super busy this week; I actually knew what would be happening on what day. Yet I couldn’t help but to feel sad about not progressing much of my hobbies. My reading list now has a pretty long backlog. I feel like I skimped on my last blog post about positivity making a difference because it’s shorter than my usual ones (and took less time too). While my game progressed quite a bit, my story writing hasn’t. I’ve been cleansing my crystals every two days instead of every day. The list goes on and on!

The one thought that kept entering my mind was – if only I had more time. If I had more time, I’d be able to chill in my introverty way and do all the stuff I wanted to do this week. If I had more time, I wouldn’t be procrastinating sleep at night just for a bit more gaming. Again, the list goes on.

But I realised; there was no way for us to get more time. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, whether a prince or a pauper, a duchess or a dog-walker. So rather than wishing for more time (impossible to achieve), I decided to switch my thinking around!

Every Action Was a Choice

I think what most of us human beings do is; whenever we end up in a less-than-ideal situation, we put ourselves in a “victim” position and made everything out to be “no choice”. Like “I had to go to the office because my bosses were there!” or “I can’t write because I don’t have time!” I read somewhere that a “victim” mindset actually makes us powerless (I can’t find that article now though 😅).

Lately I’ve been trying to catch myself before I get into that state, and I came to the following conclusion on my busy week I came to was – everything I did was my own choice.

I chose to go to the office every weekday this week (instead of working from home most weekdays) and leave the office later than my usual time to get more work done while my Australian bosses were in town. It was a conscious decision (I wanted to do it) because I wanted work to go smoothly while they were here, although that meant lunch with my sister (always comes with awesome chat times) instead of lunch chilling alone, a lot of talking in meetings (face-to-face is always better than video conference 🙂) instead of quietly working on my work laptop, and more stuff like that.

I chose to go out on a super late dinner with my Australian and local bosses because I do genuinely enjoy it! (Plus it was a once-in-a-few-years thing.) We had a great time chatting and drinking, I got to try a new (non-alcoholic) drink and even met up with an ex-colleague.

I chose to join my husband and friends on a late gaming night because I knew it would be fun, and it was! Until I went past my sleep time and I kind of zoned out due to a lack of sleep.

I chose to sleep later than I would have liked because I wanted to play more games with my husband. Yep, I’ve been telling myself “Today I must sleep earlier!” every day, but I always end up sleeping later. And I had trouble waking up in the morning.

Every one of these actions were a conscious decision, not because I was forced to. But what about my sad feelings? What about the feeling that I didn’t achieve any of my hobbies aside from my gaming?

It Doesn’t Mean the Stuff I Didn’t Do Was Wasted

Yep, it doesn’t!

Even though I wrote a shorter blog post that took less time last week, I had more views and likes than my usual posts! That made me think about the type of posts I want to write about in future. 🙂

Even though I didn’t do any novel writing at all, I still advanced considerably in terms of story planning and world building (especially while driving to/fro office). I’m at a better place now in terms of the story plan than I was two weeks ago!

Even though I didn’t have enough chilling time to myself this week, I spent a lot more time with my sister (during lunch time and having her stay over at my place) and I felt closer with her than I did before. We (and my husband) even had a good time looking for new food places to try in the last couple of days. ❤🍰

And a bonus: even though I played games instead of sleeping on time, it helped me not to go bonkers throughout a such busy week! Of course, I did have to catch up on sleep eventually, which I did last night and even had a massage session to help me relax. 😆

So it wasn’t all that bad. 😀

Thankfully my busy week is over, and even though I don’t celebrate Easter, I have the day off tomorrow! I’ll have a much needed chilling session with myself with no one to disturb. I’ll make sure to turn off the phone for the day. ❌📲

Now, if you’ll excuse me… I have days of chilling and others’ blog posts to catch up on. 😆

If you had a busy week, what was the thought (or thoughts) that entered your mind? Do comment below!

~Nicolle ❤

A Short Self-Compassionate Letter to Self

Dear Self,

It’s incredible that you realised you were wishing for something impossible and that everything was actually your choice! I think it really helps you to feel more empowered, rather than a powerless victim. I’m so proud of you. ❤

2 thoughts on “If Only I Have More Time… Or Not?

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